Light Jokes

( 1 )

Punjab government announced Rs.50,000.00 to every family with 5 children in the house-hold.

Sardar had 4 children so he tells his wife : Meri girlfriend se mera 1 bachcha hai, usey le aata hun. Total 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000/- de degi humay!

Sardar bachcha leke ghar aaya aur us ne wife se puchha : Jitender aa gaya hai -Maninder, Surinder, Rajender aur Virender kahan hain?

Wife boli - Jis jis ke the woh le gaye.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 2 )


Arab in Yankee Land !

Mohammed, a child of Arab parents, was enrolled in a school in New York. On the first day the teacher asked, "What is your name ?" The boy replied, "Mohammed". "From now on you are Johny as you are in America, the teacher told him.

In the evening when he returned home his mother asked, "How was your day, Mohammed ?. He said, "my name is not Mohammed. I am in America , my name is Johny". His mother slapped him and said angrily, "Aren't you ashamed of trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage and your religion ?" Then she called his father and he also slapped him.

Next day when his teacher saw him with his face red and asked what happened, Mohammed said "Madam, four hours after I became an American, I was attacked by two Arabs. "


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 3 )
A Maternity Ward mix up:(may not be politically correct but too good not to pass on. The 'sensitive' ones please forgive)
Four newborn babies get mixed up in Maternity Ward.A German, a Jew, a Pakistani and a Saudi.
The nurse panics but the doctor looks extremely confident and says don't worry,I'll sort this out.He shouts:"HEIL HITLER!"
Instantly, the German salutes,the Jew shits in its pants, andthe Saudi tells the Paki to clean the shit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( 4 )
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND

YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!