What does
“Nine Pipe Pour Pour Pipe Pour Pipe Pour Pour Pipe”
Means????
Not a Tongue Twister
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Didn’t get?????
Lallu Prasad Giving his mobile number
“9544545445”
Time Pass
A collection of good thoughts and humour received through emails. Just thought of collecting it as part of my blog and people can read it!!
Funny Jokes
Naukrani: "Malkin! Chote Baba Ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai."
Malkin: "Oh God!Call Doctor Fast"
Naukrani: "Aap Tension Na Lo .. Maine Chote Baba Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Qun...
Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this baby’s voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!
Husband: Why??
Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book "How to Cook"!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man calls his wife through an !dea mobile.
But the call goes to another woman.
They loved & got married.
Moral: an !dea can change ur wife
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client with a note "This Bill is one year old"
He got his bill back with a note that read"Happy Birthday!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
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Ek Aadmi Kabar Pe Baitha Tha ..Musafir Ne Pucha, "Darr Nahi Lagta?"
Aadmi- "Darne Ki Kya Baat Hai , Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi Thodi Der Bahar Aa Gaya."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.
Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children"
He answerd, "KILL ONE"
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Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
Sardar: "So what? U have writen outside
"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"...
Malkin: "Oh God!Call Doctor Fast"
Naukrani: "Aap Tension Na Lo .. Maine Chote Baba Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Qun...
Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this baby’s voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!
Husband: Why??
Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book "How to Cook"!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man calls his wife through an !dea mobile.
But the call goes to another woman.
They loved & got married.
Moral: an !dea can change ur wife
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client with a note "This Bill is one year old"
He got his bill back with a note that read"Happy Birthday!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek Aadmi Kabar Pe Baitha Tha ..Musafir Ne Pucha, "Darr Nahi Lagta?"
Aadmi- "Darne Ki Kya Baat Hai , Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi Thodi Der Bahar Aa Gaya."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.
Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children"
He answerd, "KILL ONE"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
Sardar: "So what? U have writen outside
"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"...
Indian
A Indian applies for a Job at Wal-Mart.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Indian
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Patel , the Indian , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel . " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my pants!"
Patel is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Indian
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Patel , the Indian , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel . " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my pants!"
Patel is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.
Fantastic Message - for all my female friends
Dear in-laws: "Dont teach me how to handle my children, i m living with one of urs who needs a lot of improvement"..
Light Jokes
( 1 )
Punjab government announced Rs.50,000.00 to every family with 5 children in the house-hold.
Sardar had 4 children so he tells his wife : Meri girlfriend se mera 1 bachcha hai, usey le aata hun. Total 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000/- de degi humay!
Sardar bachcha leke ghar aaya aur us ne wife se puchha : Jitender aa gaya hai -Maninder, Surinder, Rajender aur Virender kahan hain?
Wife boli - Jis jis ke the woh le gaye.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 2 )
Arab in Yankee Land !
Mohammed, a child of Arab parents, was enrolled in a school in New York. On the first day the teacher asked, "What is your name ?" The boy replied, "Mohammed". "From now on you are Johny as you are in America, the teacher told him.
In the evening when he returned home his mother asked, "How was your day, Mohammed ?. He said, "my name is not Mohammed. I am in America , my name is Johny". His mother slapped him and said angrily, "Aren't you ashamed of trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage and your religion ?" Then she called his father and he also slapped him.
Next day when his teacher saw him with his face red and asked what happened, Mohammed said "Madam, four hours after I became an American, I was attacked by two Arabs. "
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 3 )
A Maternity Ward mix up:(may not be politically correct but too good not to pass on. The 'sensitive' ones please forgive)
Four newborn babies get mixed up in Maternity Ward.A German, a Jew, a Pakistani and a Saudi.
The nurse panics but the doctor looks extremely confident and says don't worry,I'll sort this out.He shouts:"HEIL HITLER!"
Instantly, the German salutes,the Jew shits in its pants, andthe Saudi tells the Paki to clean the shit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 4 )
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND
YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!
Punjab government announced Rs.50,000.00 to every family with 5 children in the house-hold.
Sardar had 4 children so he tells his wife : Meri girlfriend se mera 1 bachcha hai, usey le aata hun. Total 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000/- de degi humay!
Sardar bachcha leke ghar aaya aur us ne wife se puchha : Jitender aa gaya hai -Maninder, Surinder, Rajender aur Virender kahan hain?
Wife boli - Jis jis ke the woh le gaye.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 2 )
Arab in Yankee Land !
Mohammed, a child of Arab parents, was enrolled in a school in New York. On the first day the teacher asked, "What is your name ?" The boy replied, "Mohammed". "From now on you are Johny as you are in America, the teacher told him.
In the evening when he returned home his mother asked, "How was your day, Mohammed ?. He said, "my name is not Mohammed. I am in America , my name is Johny". His mother slapped him and said angrily, "Aren't you ashamed of trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage and your religion ?" Then she called his father and he also slapped him.
Next day when his teacher saw him with his face red and asked what happened, Mohammed said "Madam, four hours after I became an American, I was attacked by two Arabs. "
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 3 )
A Maternity Ward mix up:(may not be politically correct but too good not to pass on. The 'sensitive' ones please forgive)
Four newborn babies get mixed up in Maternity Ward.A German, a Jew, a Pakistani and a Saudi.
The nurse panics but the doctor looks extremely confident and says don't worry,I'll sort this out.He shouts:"HEIL HITLER!"
Instantly, the German salutes,the Jew shits in its pants, andthe Saudi tells the Paki to clean the shit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( 4 )
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND
YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!
I hate exercise…for exactly these reasons!!!
Split Milk
Have you heard of the story - spilt milk? Well, we all know there is no use crying over spilt milk. But this story is different. I would hope all parents would respond in this manner.
I recently heard a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor - a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes.
Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment doesn't work,� we usually learn something valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert's mother responded to him?
Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles.
I recently heard a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor - a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes.
Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment doesn't work,� we usually learn something valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert's mother responded to him?
Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles.
**~** Six Principle of Life on Money **~**
Money is everything; that no one will deny,
though some will disagree. But money could be
nothing, or at least become meaningless,
to a person if he or she does not observe &
understand the following Six Principles of Life on Money.
Six Principles Of Life On Money
1. No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
2. No point earning so much money for which you cannot live to spend it
3. Money is not yours until you spend it.
4. When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health.
5. How happy a man is….? is not how much he has but how little he needs.
6. No point working so hard for the people, for whom you have no time to spend with.
What lies behind us & what lies before us are
tiny matters……..compared to what lies within us….!!!
Plan your living expenses……!!!
Never spend more than you have coming in.
Never use credit unless you know how & when you can pay it back.
though some will disagree. But money could be
nothing, or at least become meaningless,
to a person if he or she does not observe &
understand the following Six Principles of Life on Money.
Six Principles Of Life On Money
1. No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
2. No point earning so much money for which you cannot live to spend it
3. Money is not yours until you spend it.
4. When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health.
5. How happy a man is….? is not how much he has but how little he needs.
6. No point working so hard for the people, for whom you have no time to spend with.
What lies behind us & what lies before us are
tiny matters……..compared to what lies within us….!!!
Plan your living expenses……!!!
Never spend more than you have coming in.
Never use credit unless you know how & when you can pay it back.
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