Worth reading and understanding - Enhancing Relationships
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
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NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
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RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
A collection of good thoughts and humour received through emails. Just thought of collecting it as part of my blog and people can read it!!
Do Telemarketers Calls You?
Do you get lots of annoying calls from telemarketers?
Don't get upset about it! Use the opportunity to get a laugh!
*******
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
*******
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
*******
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
*******
4. If they are selling a lawn service to make your grass grow better, tell them it grows to fast now and green is not your favorite color anyway.
*******
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
*******
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak.
This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
*******
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
*******
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
*******
9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
*******
10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
*******
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh No!" and then hang up.
*******
12. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
*******
13. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
*******
14. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some food.
*******
15. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
*******
16. Ask the telemarketer if they use the product they are trying to sell.
If they do, ask for a complete report. If they don't, ask them why not since it is such a great product.
*******
17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
*******
18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up ...louder... louder... louder... *******
19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
*******
20. Tell them that you are busy and ask for their phone number so you can call them back.
If they say that they don't give out their phone number or they don't take calls, then ask for the caller's personal phone number at home.
If then they say that they don't like being called at home, quickly say "Bingo!" and hang up.
Don't get upset about it! Use the opportunity to get a laugh!
*******
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
*******
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
*******
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
*******
4. If they are selling a lawn service to make your grass grow better, tell them it grows to fast now and green is not your favorite color anyway.
*******
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
*******
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak.
This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
*******
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
*******
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
*******
9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
*******
10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
*******
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh No!" and then hang up.
*******
12. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
*******
13. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
*******
14. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some food.
*******
15. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
*******
16. Ask the telemarketer if they use the product they are trying to sell.
If they do, ask for a complete report. If they don't, ask them why not since it is such a great product.
*******
17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
*******
18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up ...louder... louder... louder... *******
19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
*******
20. Tell them that you are busy and ask for their phone number so you can call them back.
If they say that they don't give out their phone number or they don't take calls, then ask for the caller's personal phone number at home.
If then they say that they don't like being called at home, quickly say "Bingo!" and hang up.
Laugh !!!!!!!!
Woh kaun thi
Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne
Hello Kiya,
Wife- Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi
wife hit her husband with frying pan
Husband: What was that for...?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
Message of the year
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"
Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi
Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya ,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kya hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha
Why did u shoot ur wife ? This is the best......
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
How women call their husband in first 6 years
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O jee.
Yr 3. Sunte ho?
Yr 4. O bunty k pappa
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho ya main aaon?
Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay
Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,
Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
1 horror movie dekhi
Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki
Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne
Hello Kiya,
Wife- Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi
wife hit her husband with frying pan
Husband: What was that for...?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
Message of the year
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"
Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi
Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya ,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kya hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha
Why did u shoot ur wife ? This is the best......
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
How women call their husband in first 6 years
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O jee.
Yr 3. Sunte ho?
Yr 4. O bunty k pappa
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho ya main aaon?
Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay
Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,
Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
1 horror movie dekhi
Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki
On the lighter side of the crisis...
Just more than 1 year ago Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) paid $100bn for ABN Amro (80% cash).
For this amount, RBS could today buy:
For this amount, RBS could today buy:
- Citibank $22.5bn,
- Morgan Stanley $10.5bn,
- Goldman Sachs $21.0bn,
- Merrill Lynch $12.3bn,
- Deutsche Bank $13.0bn and
- Barclays $12.7bn,
And still have $8bn change!!!
Good Msg From Warren Buffet
"We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations.
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older.
This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
Hard work : All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness : A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings : Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending : If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
Savings : Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
Accounting : It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing : Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking : Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment : Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life."
----- Warren Buffet
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older.
This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
Hard work : All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness : A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings : Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending : If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
Savings : Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
Accounting : It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing : Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking : Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment : Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life."
----- Warren Buffet
Japanese Prime Minister English Guffa
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'..
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'..
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
New Definitions
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Management Decision
Once SONIA GANDHI, L.K. Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks Mrs GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived
notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English
test.
Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell " INDIA " and she does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).
Mrs GANDHI is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". She writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.
Mrs GANDHI is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". She replied "1947" and
passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000
or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
'
'
'
Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story:
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE..... :-
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks Mrs GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived
notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English
test.
Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell " INDIA " and she does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).
Mrs GANDHI is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". She writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.
Mrs GANDHI is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". She replied "1947" and
passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000
or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
'
'
'
Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story:
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE..... :-
Shyaari... PJ
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!
1)Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!
2)Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !!
3)Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !
4) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"
5)Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ....
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."
6) Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Jaise Chhote Se Darwaaze Mein Bhens Phass Gayii Hai .. !!
Waah! Waah!
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!
1)Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!
2)Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !!
3)Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !
4) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"
5)Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ....
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."
6) Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Jaise Chhote Se Darwaaze Mein Bhens Phass Gayii Hai .. !!
Waah! Waah!
Story of a Chartered Accountant :
Mein matric mei tha …..wo matric mei thi….
Mein 12th mei tha… wo 12th mei thi
Mein CA mei aa gaya ….. wo BA mei thi
Mein CA mei tha …wo MA mei thi
Mein CA mei tha ….wo PHD mei thi
Mein CA mei tha …..wo Dr. ban gayi
Aaj uski shaadi hai aur mera aaj CA ka paper hai
:)
Mein 12th mei tha… wo 12th mei thi
Mein CA mei aa gaya ….. wo BA mei thi
Mein CA mei tha …wo MA mei thi
Mein CA mei tha ….wo PHD mei thi
Mein CA mei tha …..wo Dr. ban gayi
Aaj uski shaadi hai aur mera aaj CA ka paper hai
:)
This is Clever
I am only sending this to my smart friends. I could not figure it out
and had to look at the answer. See if you can figure out what these
words have in common.
1 Banana
2 Dresser
3 Grammar
4 Potato
5 Revive
6 Uneven
7 Assess
Are you peeking or have you already given up?
Give it another try. Look at each word carefully.
(You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.)
This Is Cool.
Answer: No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.
(Thought I had the answer, but I did not go far enough.)
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the
same word.
Did you figure it out? Just send it to more people and stump them;
then, you'll feel better, too.
and had to look at the answer. See if you can figure out what these
words have in common.
1 Banana
2 Dresser
3 Grammar
4 Potato
5 Revive
6 Uneven
7 Assess
Are you peeking or have you already given up?
Give it another try. Look at each word carefully.
(You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.)
This Is Cool.
Answer: No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.
(Thought I had the answer, but I did not go far enough.)
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the
same word.
Did you figure it out? Just send it to more people and stump them;
then, you'll feel better, too.
PJ of the Day !!!
The year is 2020 and India’s much awaited MAN-ON-THE-MOON mission is successful. The first Indian astronaut lands on the moon. The moment he steps his foot on moon he is shocked to see 2 Indians already present on the moon.
The astronaut asks them: “Who are u?”
Reply:
“Cameraman Santosh ke saath Deepak Chourasiya…...AAJ TAK"
The astronaut asks them: “Who are u?”
Reply:
“Cameraman Santosh ke saath Deepak Chourasiya…...AAJ TAK"
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